Life-Changing Books to Help You Stop People-Pleasing & Start Prioritizing Yourself

Do you find yourself constantly putting others before yourself, struggling to say no, or feeling drained by your relationships? If so, you might be stuck in patterns of over-giving and people-pleasing. The good news? You can break free and reclaim your energy, boundaries, and self-worth. These five books will help you understand the root of these behaviors and guide you toward healthier, more fulfilling relationships with yourself and others.

1. Set Boundaries, Find Peace – Nedra Glover Tawwab

If you struggle with setting limits and feel guilty about prioritizing yourself, this book is a game-changer. Tawwab, a licensed therapist, breaks down the importance of healthy boundaries and offers practical strategies to communicate your needs without fear. She teaches you how to stop feeling responsible for others’ emotions and start standing firm in your own truth.

Key Takeaways:

• Boundaries are not walls but guidelines for healthy relationships.

• Saying no is an act of self-care, not selfishness.

• Clear, direct communication can transform your relationships.

2. Attached – Amir Levine & Rachel Heller

Do you find yourself anxiously waiting for a text back? Or maybe you tend to push people away when they get too close? Attached dives into the science of attachment styles and explains how they shape your relationships. Understanding your attachment style (anxious, avoidant, or secure) can help you break free from toxic cycles and build more secure, fulfilling connections.

Key Takeaways:

• Your attachment style influences how you connect with others.

• People-pleasers often have anxious attachment tendencies.

• You can rewire your attachment style for healthier relationships.

3. The Mountain Is You – Brianna Wiest

This book is all about overcoming self-sabotage and breaking free from patterns that keep you stuck. If you tend to over-give because you fear rejection or feel unworthy of love unless you're "useful," this book will help you dismantle those limiting beliefs and step into your power.

Key Takeaways:

• Self-sabotage is often a sign of unresolved emotional wounds.

• Growth requires discomfort—lean into it.

• You are worthy, even when you're not "doing" for others.

4. Untamed – Glennon Doyle

A powerful and deeply personal book, Untamed is about breaking free from societal expectations and reclaiming your true self. If you’ve spent your life trying to be "good" and making choices based on what others want, Doyle’s words will ignite the courage to live unapologetically.

Key Takeaways:

• You are allowed to change, evolve, and redefine yourself.

• Pleasing others at the expense of yourself is not true love.

• Your intuition is your greatest guide—trust it.

5. The Highly Sensitive Person – Elaine Aron

If you feel deeply affected by other people’s emotions, loud environments, or the energy around you, you might be a highly sensitive person (HSP). This book explains what it means to be an HSP and how to navigate the world without feeling constantly overwhelmed.

Key Takeaways:

• Sensitivity is a strength, not a weakness.

• Over-giving is common among HSPs due to heightened empathy.

• Learning to manage sensory and emotional input can prevent burnout.

Breaking free from people-pleasing and over-giving takes time, but these books offer powerful insights and actionable tools to help you reclaim your energy and self-worth. Healing starts with awareness, and the more you learn, the more empowered you become.